Funkybeta Bouldering About Us
After becoming addicted to hard moves we realized that it's also hard to find T-shirts that express our true feelings. So we started making them.
"After many years, many projects and many awards in an advertising agency I got really bored. So I took gardening leave and started bouldering. Since then my only regret is that I didn’t start it some decades earlier because bouldering is so addictive that it should be illegal."
When his karate coach saw how high he could raise his leg for a side kick he said "so you're going to kick more in the knees."
To solve his (un) flexibility he imagines many alternative betas, but most of them are infeasible even for pros. So it's no surprise that he's known as the Doctor of Theoretical Bouldering.
This guy likes his computers a lot and we suspect he might be in a Linux cult. He manufactures your daily internets, designs graphics and sometimes he composes a bit of music. Bouldering for him is a way to de-digitalise, re-socialize and strain-a-neck-ialise.
"A car once ran over my dental retainer. I don't want to talk about it."
He is known that his betas are just like the pro's, but during their execution he shakes like a grandpa on a bad day of Parkinson's. No, really. Like a man with diarrhea on a bus. Like an Italian facing pineapple pizza. Like Michael Jackson at a kindergarten. Like fish on land. Like a swimming Titanic passenger. Like a dog at the vet's. Like a mouse at a cat convention. You get the picture.
He still plays piano in a whorehouse. At least that's what he tells his mother. In reality he works in an advertising agency. So now you understand. And now you know why solving slippery slopes comes to him naturally.
When he was young his dream was to win the Tour de France so he started training with the local cycling club. After a first session he realised that racing bikes don’t have mudguards, luggage carriers and front dynamo lights equipped so he quietly removed them.
His climbing style is modeled on the teachings of his favourite childhood characters Muhammad Ali and Isaac Newton. He floats like a butterfly and falls like a stone.